Friday, September 18, 2009

I would like to know by a show of hands, how many people think sex is important enough in a relationship such that it can be a deal breaker?

Forgive me for raising controversy yet again, but I think it's fair to break it off with somebody because of lack of sex or bad sex. It is one of the very few things in life that a person should always be considered above par and enjoy.

I was recently called upon for my brilliant and fabulous love/relationship advice. (It still bemuses me from time to time that I so often get called upon for this as I have yet to demonstrate a successful, sane relationship myself). A friend of mine has been dating a girl for a little over six months. He wanted to know if it would be an "asshole move" if he broke up with her because of sex. To make it clear, they have sex less than once a month.


No, readers, that is not a typo. Needless to say, my response was, "Get out. Get out NOW."

Let's be honest here. Everybody knows that sex becomes increasingly infrequent as time passes in a relationship. However, at six months, a couple should still be going at it like rabbits. If not, you must begin to wonder how it will be further down the line. Will it become once every other month, once every six month, or worse yet, only on your birthday? (Oh, "Birthday Sex" - so good that you even have your own song).

For you "unbelievers" who staunchly defend that a relationship is more than "just sex," please set those torches down. I am not implying that sex is the be all and end all for a good relationship; I am merely stating that it is integral. While I believe compatibility, humor, stability, etc. are all important, I argue that sex is equally as important. Here's the romantic in me coming out - Believe it or not, you can have it all. Why shouldn't it be great? If you are about to commit to someone for what is hopefully the rest of your lives, why can't you expect to have a great time in and out of the bed? Even on those days you can't stand each other or have a huge disagreement, shouldn't you be able to look forward to fantastic sex afterward? And should the relationship not work out in the end (heaven forbid), wouldn't you like to be able to say to yourself, "Hey, s/he might have been a bitch/asshole, but at least the sex was great!"

Still not convinced? Okay, naysayers. Here's what I have to say to you:

You've never had mind-blowing sex.