Annie & me @ Rain in Vegas 

Vegas, BABY! =]
Over Thanksgiving weekend, I went with Brian, Holly, and Ed to Vegas. Mmmmm.... Vegas. Brian and I lost a lot of money, but eh. What can ya do? You win some, you lose some. I had fun anyway. On Saturday, we went clubbing at Rain. That was so much fun! I was SO excited when they played California Love. Heh heh. They were like, "Scream if you're from the Bay Area!" "WOOOOOOOHHHH!!" "Scream if you're from LA!" "WOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!" Haha. It was fun. Then we got drunk and walked around drunkenly. =] Good times.
More later.

*WARNING*
-- General whining and bitching about to commence --
As well as I thought the interview went, Citadel apparently felt differently. I mean, I answered all of your stupid questions -- and I answered them well! Geez! Brian is under the impression that it was never really about the interview, but rather how I appeared "on paper." Meaning... I'm not an engineer. Big, f*cking deal. I know I wanted that job more than anyone else there and I KNOW I would've outperformed many of them. So f*ck that. They can kiss my ass as it's their loss.
-- End whining and bitching --
So I've moved on. I mean, if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be. I think everything happens for a reason, even if it's a naive idea. Hell... Princeton was my first choice school. I probably would've been miserable out there. I'm so relieved that in the end I came to Berkeley. So I just have to view these as similar events. So I didn't get my first choice job. That's okay. I know that when I do find something that fits, it's going to be something fabulous and I'll be so glad I didn't end up in Chicago.

I interviewed with Citadel yesterday. I thought it went fairly decent. I was actually able to answer all of the questions, so that's a good sign. =] I talked to some other people afterward and a lot of people were saying that they didn't want to move to Chicago and didn't really want the job. It made me a little angry since it's my first choice. I mean, if they were to receive an offer over me and then reject it... how horrible would that make me feel? I guess I understand why Brian was telling me I shouldn't have applied to companies I had no intention to work for; I could be taking away somebody's dream job.

How to make a Tammy

Ingredients: 5 parts success 5 parts self-sufficiency 1 part empathy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of caring

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Mmmmm... sleepy time. It's been an eventful week. =] I'm ready for some good, old fashioned rest, though.
On Sunday, we threw a Fourth of July barbecue get-together. There were so many people! We bought so much food and we still ran out. I'm glad, though, because I didn't want to be eating barbecue for the rest of the week. Leave it to the black man to make good barbecue (heaven forbid we let asian people do it!). =] That night, we watched the fireworks from our AMAZING view. Heh heh. It pays to be on the 16th floor, eh? We could see fireworks from so many different places; it was really nice.
On Tuesday, I had my first day of work. I'm working at the IBM Almaden (pronounced ahl-mah-den... thanks, Ken, for that correction before I sorely embarrassed myself at work) Research Center for eight weeks on the WebFountain project. It's it the middle of nowhere! Well, kind of. It's on top of this hill and we have to take this windy, mountain-ish sort of road for about two miles before we reach it. I don't get cell phone reception there, either. It's quite a long commute from Emeryville, too. Shmeh. I deal. So far, I've just been reading all the documentation (nothing terribly exciting). But it all sounds very interesting. I'm pretty excited about it (so you should be, too!).
I don't get my own office at work, which kind of sucks. I work with one other person, who happens to be a Berkeley grad student in the SIMS department. She's nice and we seem to be getting along pretty well. We share a room with two other groups (but one of them finished today, so they'll be gone for the remainder of the time). Apparently, IBM sends people from all over the world on assignments at different locations. The group that finished today consisted of an Australian, a South African, and an American. They were a fun bunch; really outspoken and had that dry sense of humor I really enjoy. The other group in the room consists of people from Australia, England, and the Philippines. They're pretty amusing, too. =]
I'm glad the weekend is coming up. I really want to see King Arthur (Keira Knightley is so pretty!). =] So yeah. Time for some relaxation! (Well, when it hits 5:30pm, at least).

Karma n.
1. Hinduism & Buddhism. The effects of a person's actions that determine his destiny in his next incarnation
2. Fate; destiny.
3. Informal. A distinctive aura, atmosphere, or feeling: There's bad karma around the house today.
(borrowed from dictionary.com)

I thrive from believing in karma. What goes around definitely comes around. I try my best to do unto others as I would like them to do unto me. But none of that fake sweet stuff, please. Be honest and sincere at the same time.
In any case, be careful what you do because it might later come back to bite you in the ass. =]

Our new place is SO nice! Give me a call and you can come by and see it! =]
It's been a pretty good week. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and everything is peachy keen. So I got an internship at IBM working on WebFountain so I'm pretty excited about that. It's a long commute every day, but that's cool; it is IBM, after all. Heh heh. And for what they're paying me, I'd sweep the floor for all I care. =]
I guess I should be unpacking as I seem to have accumulated a lot of crap. This might take awhile.

A couple of weeks ago, I had an interview for an internship position at Applied Expert Systems. The following week, I was offered the position. But being the spoiled brat that I am, I turned it down because I wasn't really interested in what they wanted me to do (quality assurance testing on networking stuff) and it was just too far to be commuting (Menlo Park) to a job I didn't want to do. And of course, being the arrogant bastard that I am, I assumed another position would magically appear. Dammit. Another wasted summer.

What is it with Berkeley and jay-walking? If you're going to jay-walk, at least do it responsibly! Didn't your mother ever tell you to look both ways before crossing the street? Damn. Don't assume that people are going to stop for you just because you're a pedestrian. You wanna die anytime soon?
The other night, I was hanging out with Brian, Holly, and Ed and we were just driving around aimlessly, searching for something to do. As we approach the light at Fulton and Durant, a group of students are slowly jay-walking across the street, not a care in the world. Upon seeing this, Ed revs up. They look over, get scared, and run across the street. Quite amusing. Should've just run them over.
Ed and Brian have this ingenious idea to have "hit-a-pedestrian passes" -- you know, kind of like a "get-out-of-jail-free card." Haha. That would make an interesting platform if one of them were to ever run for office. "If I am elected, I will hand out hit-a-pedestrian passes so that you can mow over those stupid jay-walkers without consequences. Stupidity must lead to their downfall, anyway." And then, from me, "Can we have hit-an-ugly-person passes, too?" Haha. I'm evil.
So if you live in Berkeley -- BEWARE! Jay-walk responsibly (especially if you're ugly) because I won't give it a second thought to plow you over!

I got pulled over by a cop for the first time. Saturday afternoon, Brian and I decided to go shopping. As we're driving down Oxford, a cop pulls up behind me. Going speed limit as I don't want to get a speeding ticket, the cop switches into the lane on our right. Thinking that he was just going to pass (as they always do because they think we're going too slow at speed limit), I didn't really put much more thought into it. As I was looking in my rear view mirror, I see him slowly inch up and then suddenly switch back into my lane behind me. Then he proceeds to turn on his lights and pull me over. What the hell?!
"How are you today, madam?" I've been better, asshole. How good of a day could it possibly be when you just pulled me over? Dumbass. Anyhow, he proceeds to ask for my registration and my proof of insurance. When he looks at them, he says, "Your proof of insurance is expired. Do you have the new one?" Dammit, mother! Sigh. "No, officer. As you can see, it expired barely a month ago and I haven't received the new one yet." Sigh. Then, to Brian: "I noticed that you weren't wearing your seat belt." Damn, damn, damn. What a lame reason to pull someone over! Anyhow, it takes him forever and a day to issue the tickets (yes, plural) and we're getting more annoyed by the second. If you're going to give us a ticket, at least hurry it up because we've got places to be.
Anyhow, it's so stupid. It's a $20 fine and not even worth it. Whatever. Brian was really annoyed. "He just spent the last fifteen minutes giving us a ticket! Doesn't he have anything better to do?! Where the hell was he when Holly's car window got smashed in? Giving someone else a stupid seat belt infraction ticket? Dammit." And I totally agree. I mean, what's with this stupid law. I understand that it's designed to protect our own lives, but who gives them the right to tell us how we should protect ourselves? It's not like we're putting anyone else in danger. I understand speeding tickets as that counts as "reckless driving" and really DOES put others in danger. But this is just stupid! As Brian was saying, "It's like out-lawing sky diving or bungee jumping. I mean, those things endanger our lives. What the hell is that?!"
In any case, it's not really that big of a deal. It's just annoying.

=] It's good to smile sometimes.

Have you ever had one of those nights that you just couldn't fall asleep for the life of you? It's not like you aren't tired -- you just can't fall asleep. It's one of those nights where you're continuously looking at the clock and thinking, "If I fall asleep now, I'll get five hours of sleep...." It's nights like these that I end up pondering the wonders of the world. Maybe that just adds to the insomnia.
So the weather has suddenly turned beautiful. It reminds me of LA. Gosh, I miss it.

The Ex-Files.* I suppose this is something that must be opened during any relationship. Or is it? Is it possible to completely delete those files? To forget their existence? I feel as though I've thought enough about them, about the past, and about the emotions. So from now on, I have decided to close them to the public. That's it. They no longer belong in my life and if I have any thoughts of them, they are fleeting.
By the way, this doesn't refer to Bryant or Chris (if you guys are reading this). You guys are the greatest and I love you dearly. You'll always be a part of my life because you meant more to me than that.
* phrase from Sex and The City

Weather Forecast: Rainy. For the entire week, RAINY. It makes me miss LA and all the warm weather it represents. You know, NON-RAINY.
Moving right along... Yesterday marked an end to Sex and The City. That's a little depressing. As superficial and perfunctory the show might have been, I not only enjoyed it thoroughly, but also learned a few things. That sounds a little pathetic, but it's quite true. I suggest you watch a couple of episodes and you let me know if you're not surprised by some of the things they say that just seem so... right. Take it from the gay writers of Sex and The City.

So I've been thinking about my ability to judge character. I find that I have a better judgement of girls than I do of guys. I have this theory that girls have a "bitch-dar." You know... like how gay guys have a "gay-dar?" Well, I find that girls have a better intuition about other girls than we do about guys. In this case, I'm talking about relative bitchiness. =]
For Kai's birthday, we all went out to Hooter's to celebrate. Since they don't take reservations, Brian and I arrived early to put our names down. The last time we went, Holly and I tried to put our names down and the hostess was really bitchy to us. We then decided that Hooter's girls only liked guys. So this time around, I had Brian take care of things. So the girl was overtly nice to him and it was so obvious that she was flirting. When the others arrived, we were checking out the girls. Li and I decided that the hostess looked like a bitch, although Brian thought she was wonderfully nice. Gee, I wonder why. =] And no, I didn't think she looked like a bitch just because she was flirting with him because I honestly couldn't care less. Hell, I'm glad other girls find my guy attractive; it means I'm doing something right. =]
Anyway, back to my theory. I'm not sure if this whole bitch-dar thing happens because girls know girls or because girls are in a constant competition with each other. We're ten times more critical about other girls than we are about guys. Come on, girls. How many times have you looked back on an ex-boyfriend and thought, "How was I so blind? Why didn't I see that he was a total bastard?" There are far fewer times that we've been disappointed by girls since we have this constant, protective shell of harsh judgement. I mean, is it really surprising that so-and-so did yada yada yada? "I totally KNEW that she was a total bitch!" Whereas with guys, we're more like, "I thought he was such a nice guy! How could I have been so wrong?"
MAYBE it's the romantic attachment we have to guys. Upon closer examination of typical guy behavior, however, it doesn't work the other way around. Most guys I know really just get along with every other guy unless one of the following occurs: a) he's a complete greasy, sleazy, scum-bag -- so much so that it's blindingly obvious or b) he hurt your family/friend. But typically, the initial judgement doesn't occur unless some kind of extraordinary first impression, good or bad, was made. A guy's evaluation of a girl is even worse! Of course, upon first inspection, we look at the surface, the physical. No, it's not shallow -- it's normal. So the face, the body, the clothes, etc. is examined. "Would I do her?" Typical first question a guy may ask himself, even subconsciously. To them, there is no direct correlation between appearance and personality -- by this, I am speaking about the "not so obvious" cases (e.g. not overly dorky). On the other hand, we girls look at another girl and by appearance alone, we make a judgement. "Yeah, I can see why guys find her attractive, but she looks like a bitch."
Most of the time, we're right, too. But then again, it goes back to my original theory -- 'All men are bastards and all women are bitches.' Eh. You don't have to believe me. Hell. What could a bitch like me ever know? =P

FINAL FANTASY: CRYSTAL CHRONICLES! =]

How do you measure the amount of love you feel for another? Is it how much you are willing to do for another? Is it possible to be in a good relationship when one person loves the other person more than the feeling is reciprocated?
At a younger, more rash age, I might have acted on emotions alone. However, I've grown since then (at least I hope I have). "If I asked you to drop everything and run away with me, would you?" Isn't that the same as asking me to give up my life to live his? What about my life and my responsibilities? What about the other people and things I love? And then, if I didn't want to, would he leave? Then it becomes more like "Drop everything and run away with me; if you don't I'm leaving you." Is that not an ultimatum? Or is it more about me not loving him enough to do it?

It was my best friend's birthday yesterday. I called her and our conversation went something like this:
Tammy: You should go out for your birthday.
Stacey: Do you think I have time to go out?
Tammy: Haha. All right. Go out this weekend. Get drunk.
Stacey: So I can hurl all night?
Tammy: Sounds good to me. Don't forget to give me the "drunken call." You know, the one like I always give you when I'm drunk.
Stacey: Haha. Those. You know... "Hey, Stacey. I'm SOOOO~ drunk. Insert-extraneous-ex-boyfriend-name-here is SUCH a bastard!"
Tammy: Haha. You know the one!
Yeah... Always the best time to get drunk: realizing the last guy you dated is a f*cking bastard. Damn. Those were the days. =]

It's back to school. Hurrah.
I have class at 10am every day (except for Thursdays), which is kind of early. It's not too bad. I'm really beginning to think that programming will be the death of me. I'm taking E177 (Engineering 177 - Advanced Programming with Matlab) and let me just tell you that MATLAB must be the worst programming language... EVER. Then again, that might be because I learned C and Java first. Ugh. It frustrates me.
Besides for school, life is coming along. I still need a job... desperately. Otherwise, I'm getting along fabulously (aka swimmingly).

So I have jury duty this week (even though I'm not registered to vote). It really, really sucks. So I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn so I could get myself to downtown LA by 7:30am. And for all you LA people, you know what traffic is like trying to get downtown. Then, I sat there waiting to get called into some case until 11:00-ish. Then, when I'm finally called, they decide that it would be fun to send us elsewhere. Yay. Then I got to drag myself over to the West LA court in Santa Monica. Great FUN! (are you sensing the sarcasm?) First, I had lunch with my sister and her co-workers since she works about five blocks away from the court. Afterwards, I headed over to the Santa Monica court. According to the directions, the parking lot for the jurors is off of Butler from Santa Monica Blvd. I drove up and down Butler, but could find no parking lot. So then I found a residential area, parked there, and walked over to the court. I entered the main building as I there was no directions as to where to go. After going through the usual security checkpoint (similar to the one at airports), I am informed that I was supposed to go to Trailer 1. That's right. You heard me folks. TRAILER 1. I proceeded back outside but still had no idea where I was going. Then I saw it. It was a dingy looking bungalow with a small, yellow "1" painted on the outside. Lovely. I went inside and was told that there was a delay, so that I should just wait. Around 2:30-ish, the clerk tells us that one of the two cases that needs to be tried had been settled, so thirty people could return home and call their jury duty served. Of course, unlucky as I am, I had to stay. So around 3:15-ish, they finally call us in. So there are thirty of us and only fourteen are needed to serve on the jury (twelve on the jury, two alternates). When we get in, they call 21 people to sit in the jury box and in the area in the front of the court. Yep. I'm one of the nine still in the audience. After everybody is seated, the judge tells us it's too late to begin the selection process, so they want us all to return tomorrow at 10:30am. Great great great. What a complete and utter waste of a day. Sigh.

Heh. I saw Cheaper by the Dozen last night. It was amusing; I liked it. Maybe it's because I like Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt. Yeah, I know it's silly, but that's what makes it so amusing! =]
I'm watching the Seattle-Green Bay game at the moment. Seattle is finally stepping it up. It's about time! Since Minnesota decided to be dumb asses and not make the playoffs, my team of the moment is Seattle. I guess I feel bad because I was rooting against them on the last game of the season and Matt Hasselbeck was my fantasy football quarterback. In any case, GO SEAHAWKS! =]

I saw Something's Gotta Give last night. I liked it. =] Of course, I tend to like most romantic comedies, so that's not really a surprise. It was highly entertaining. Yeah yeah. I know you all are thinking, "But it's an old people's movie! It has two old people as the leads (i.e. Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson)!" Yeah yeah. But that's what makes it so entertaining! Besides, Keanu Reeves and Amanda Peet are also in it and I know you all think THEY'RE hot (because they are). Heh heh. So yeah... go see it! =]