Thursday, May 06, 2010

As it seems that this is not obvious to everyone, whenever something is written in italics and it is not dialogue or a quote, it means it's fiction. I write because I love writing.

Tell Me I Am Worth It

If I could choose, I wouldn't feel this way.
I wouldn't think the world of you.
I wouldn't have the urge to grab your hand.
I wouldn't want to lie my head in your lap.
I wouldn't secretly enjoy 'Goodbyes' because they came with an embrace.
I wouldn't be excited to see your name appear on my phone.
I wouldn't rearrange my schedule to fit yours.
I wouldn't just want to be near you just to be in your presence.
If I could choose, I wouldn't care for someone who so obviously does not care for me.

Instead, all I can do is wait. I wait for you to care. I wait for you.

The truth is, I do think the world of you. You are the most intelligent and talented person I have ever known. I know that there is nothing that you can't do or accomplish. You make me question the things I thought I knew and understood. You open my eyes to so many different ideas and views that I've never even had thoughts about. You astound me.

The truth is, I always have the urge to grab your hand. I just want to feel it holding on to mine, just to feel your touch. There is something so intimate and magical about your touch like I can be connected to everything that is so amazing about you.

The truth is, I want to lie my head in your lap. There is something so wonderfully comforting about you that makes me believe that there are only good things to come when I am with you. An overwhelming sense of ease and contentment washes over me, like you could protect me from everything bad.

The truth is, I hate saying 'Goodbye' but I love feeling your arms around me in an embrace. It makes leaving so bittersweet. Oh, but the sweetness of being held even for just a brief moment makes the world feel right instead of the tailspin I habitually live. Time freezes, everything is perfect, and there's nowhere else I'd rather be but standing right there in your arms.

The truth is, every time my phone rings, my insides clench in anticipation of seeing your name and when it appears, my heart nearly bursts from excitement. Even frivolous conversation feels meaningful, deep, poetic. I can feel the emotion and passion in your words and it humbles me.

The truth is, I would drop anything just for a second with you because everything seems pale and unimportant in comparison to you. I must have done something good in this life to deserve the moments I share with you.

The truth is, being near you, just in your presence, leaves me with a sense of peace and calm like stepping inside after being caught in a thunderstorm. You are the warm, inviting fire that I want to curl up next to while listening to the rain falling, the thunder crashing on the outside.

If I could choose, I would not feel invisible and insignificant next to your brilliance.

Instead, all I can do is wait. I wait for you to tell me I am worth it. I wait for you.

Tell Me I Am Worth It
Images courtesy of Le Love

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