I find myself in a place I don't want to be.
It's a brand new year and a brand new me... or is it? A brand new me, that is. I want to say that I have done things to make myself happy, but I find that I have not. "Put yourself out there," they say. I feel that I am out there. But am I really?

Are you in... or are you out? I'M IN! =]

Went shopping with my sister today. I bought her a GameBoy Advance for a late Christmas present. She bought me a cashmere beanie from Banana Republic and Nine West shoes. Remind me not to go shopping with her again. My feet hurt. And I thought I shopped a lot. Apparently not as much.
Was kind of depressed today. I need to go back to Berkeley. I miss my apartment. I miss my boyfriend. But I guess that's only on my side.

So CS didn't turn out well. =[ Oh well. There's nothing much I can do about it now. I was depressed all day. Desmond left for Hong Kong, too. It was not a happy day. Oh well. It's a new day. I'm driving my butt (along with Alex's) back down to LA. Back to Torrance I go. Yippee.

I have my CS final in 40 minutes. I CAN do this. I WILL NOT LET DAN GARCIA BEST ME! GRRR! *flexes with non-muscles* If I do well on this, then screw math.

I'm a reader for CS61A. One of my students thinks I'm hot! That's amusing. Haha. I'm amused.
heavenly TH: i'm grading your friend's project right now.
k*********: kooool
k*********: guess what
heavenly TH: what?
k*********: he thinks you're hot
k*********: hehehe
heavenly TH: what?
heavenly TH: you're kidding.
k*********: shh, don't say anything
k*********: but he was just like 'yeah dude, my reader is hot!'

"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person." -Margaret Anderson
After watching a bad episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, I realize that all of my favorite sitcoms have been going downhill. Will and Grace, for example. This is most upsetting.

I have my EE final tomorrow and I just realized that I know NOTHING about transistors. Sigh. :'(

Study, study, study. I can't handle the pressure!

You wanna know what love is?
Do you trust me? When you look in my eyes, do you feel anything? When I say something, do you listen? When I mess up, do you forgive me? When I'm upset, do you comfort me? When you're upset, do you smile for me? When you're angry at me, does it fade away quickly? When I'm hurt, do you cry?
I trust you. When I look in your eyes, I know this is real. When you say something, I listen not with just my ears, but also with my heart. When you mess up, I'll always forgive you. When you're upset, all I do is try to cheer you up. When I'm upset, I smile for you and never take it out on you. When I'm angry at you, it fades away instantly when you simply smile. When you're hurt, I cry for your pain because I share it with you.

I'm so depressed. I have failed NOT one, but TWO of my midterms. So depressing. Damn you, EE AND MATH!!

Not feeling too good. My throat is feeling kind of iffy. It's not a good time to be getting sick. I think I should be taking echinacea. You know what it is? It's this damn Berkeley weather!

"Love takes time to heal when you're hurting so much. I cannot stand the pain inside 'cause love takes time... I don't wanna be here alone." -Mariah Carey
Endlessly.

Desmond and his friends played mahjong tonight (last night... whatever). I haven't played mahjongg in forever! Damn me and my lack of Chinese friends who know how to play... I should consider bringing up my set from home and TEACHING everyone to play.

I've looked at the framework for my cs project a million times over. Why do I still feel so lost??

I got my DVDs! Yay! Now I have all of Hayao Miyazaki's movies (minus Spirited Away)! Hurrah! That's so exciting. =] I was watching PomPoko, which is a story about tanukis. Remember Mario 3 on old school Nintendo? Whenever Mario wore a tanuki suit, he could turn into a statue. KAWAII! =]

I finally got Christine's package for me last night. She sent it like two weeks ago! Damn postal service... But yes. I had dim sum today for the first time in forever! MMMM... dim sum. Went to El Torito at Jack London Square with my dormmates to celebrate Jon's birthday last night. Got lost trying to get there, but eh. That pretty much encapsulates my weekend. Damn. I'm pathetic, aren't I?

I just saw The Ring last night. It was SO scary. I'm still freaked out and I can't stop thinking about it. SO SCARY.

Finally finished with midterms... Well... at least for another couple of weeks. Sigh. It's never ending. I guess I really shouldn't be complaining because it's a whole lot better than working. I can't believe I know people who are graduating this year. Geez. That's so scary. I'm thinking back to sophomore year of high school (4 years ago!) and how they were all seniors right about now. I remember how desperately I wanted to be a part of Robert's clique. That seems like such a long time ago... and all those people... they're graduating!! And NOT from high school... from COLLEGE. That's scary as hell.

Birthday gifts received:
Desmond: homemade dinner, DKNY watch, external CD burner, Gucci cell phone decoration, Beauty & The Beast DVD
Holly & Brian: Britney's Dance Beat for PS2, cow socks
Li: scarf
Karishma: F.R.I.E.N.D.S. trivia game

Thanks, you guys! I'm so old now! I got up this morning and was like, "Ohh... my back hurts!" =]