Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Have you ever been on a date that actually turned out to be a non-date or vice versa? More and more frequently these days, I have received several perplexed communications (from both men and women) wondering if they're about to go on a date or if it's "just a friend" thing. I have also fallen victim to this confusion on more than one occasion. What is the tell-tale sign that one is on a date?

I have been informed by a very good (male) friend of mine that a man will only ask a woman to dinner if he views in her a romantic light (i.e. he's asking her out on a date).

Based on personal experiences, I am inclined to disagree with this assumption. I have gone to plenty of dinners with male friends in a one-on-one situation and those were purely platonic. Upon closer inspection, though, I would have to admit that many of these dinners were my suggestion. Regardless, I'm sure there have been times when the other party has suggested the outing.

My friend states that yes, of course, there are times when he will have dinner with a woman with only friendship in mind, but those are far and few between. He also said that should dinner occur, it is usually appended to a different social meeting and it just so happens that it ran into dinnertime. He argues:

Socializing over dinner is a female thing. It's not like I ever call up my buddy, Joe, and say, 'I haven't talked to you in awhile! Let's catch up over dinner!' NO! Of course, not. Guys like to 'hang out' or 'shoot the shit.' Socialize over beer or go watch a movie or go shoot some pool. Listen, if a guy is asking a girl out to dinner, it's because he wants to go to dinner with her. Otherwise, he'd say, 'Let's hang out. Let's have a drink/watch a movie/shoot some pool.' We don't do dinner, do we?

Well, explained that way, I can see that. And he's right - we don't do dinner, at least not since we dated. (Another reason I am predisposed to believe what he says especially when there's an outright connection to where we stand/once stood). However, I am not convinced. This is a la He's Just Not That Into You, but I do believe that if a man is attracted and interested in a woman, he will let her know. Nothing will be vague - it will be crystal clear: THIS IS A DATE.

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