Over the weekend, I had a long conversation with a guy I've known for many years regarding the necessity (or lack thereof) of relationships to live a happy, meaningful life. It all started when he posed the following questions, "What's going on with you? Are you dating again?"
To which I responded, "I'm giving up on that; it's been too disappointing. Besides, I've relied too heavily on the guys I've dated in the past to make me happy. I'm trying to focus on my career and pursuing goals that will make me happy without depending on a relationship."
"Really? Will that be enough? I think men can live that way but I think it's different for women; they need a relationship to be happy."
We must have been distracted by something at that point because I can't seem to recall the reasoning behind this statement. Or, perhaps, I was so infuriated by this clearly sexist comment that I simply did not hear the rest of the conversation. Although, after much thought and consideration, I am inclined to agree with his opinion.
Ladies, before you bite my head off, allow me a moment to explain. Women, in general, are complex creatures. As much as we may attempt to simplify our lives (and ourselves), it has become painfully clear to me that these efforts are pointless. Take, for example, the "angry woman." In a relationship, when a woman becomes angry, she quietly seethes, waiting for the man to notice and prostrate himself in total apologetic surrender. The longer he takes to notice, the angrier she gets. When he finally asks, "What's wrong, honey?" she will ultimately respond with, "NOTHING." Why? Because we expect you to already know and if you don't know, we want you to be concerned enough to keep asking and make it up to us. (Whitney Cummings does a great bit about this).
Unquestionably, women are wired differently than men. It has been my experience that women are more emotional than men. Maybe it's the estrogen or maybe it's the lack of testosterone. Whatever the case may be, because women are more emotional, we tend to want to "talk things out." While, yes, we have fabulous friends who will no doubt lend an ear, sometimes it requires more - perhaps a tender touch or a loving gaze. Unfortunately, these warm-hearted moments are few and far between with casual dalliances. So I say that, yes, we need a relationship if for no other reason than to keep ourselves sane.
With that being said,
I'm doomed.
I'm glad these days people in general are less PC and we can acknowledge our differences. There's plenty of scientific evidence that men's and women's brains function differently, but it shouldn't have taken fMRI studies to confirm the obvious: that women are insane.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have to be outside of a relationship to work on being independent. I think the two partners should have some interests that the other doesn't share, and they should pursue them independently. I think getting away from each other is just as important as spending quality time together. But both people need to have interests. I had a girlfriend once who wouldn't cultivate any outside interests. So when I would go snowboarding, or ride my motorcycle, she would stay at home. That's not good.
So hey, are you really giving up Twitter? :-( That would suck, why would you do that? I like seeing your avatar pop up in the stream. I guess I could just check your blog, but it's not the same thing as sending out tweets a few times a day.
Dave