In recent months, I have dated several men that have told me about passionate, wonderful relationships with incredible women that just end up "fizzing out." He didn't change; she didn't change. My take on it is that people get bored. That doesn't necessarily mean I believe that people are boring. On the contrary - most people are quite interesting with different habits, morals, thoughts, and actions. However, once you become intimately acquainted with these nuances, it is no longer interesting because you're not discovering anything new.
I've been seeing Mike for the last two months. We used to see each other quite frequently but recently, we've only been seeing each other once a week. This doesn't bother me - I'm a busy girl with a schedule, lots of friends, and big dreams. Translation: I'm not into this guy enough to make time for him or a relationship. Likewise, he doesn't pressure me to spend more time with him. I think we got too much of each other too quickly and now it's burnt out. You have to pace these things.
This same guy told me about one of his past relationships that he still looks back on rather fondly. They didn't break up because of a lack of love but because they had "already done everything."
Huh? I was confused by this statement, too.
He explained that in the two years they were together, they did everything: traveled, bought stuff, celebrated holidays, lived together, etc. He said that by the end of the relationship, if someone asked them what they wanted to do that weekend or even that day, they wouldn't have an answer because they felt like everything that could be done, had been done. Therefore, since there was nothing left to do, it would only go downhill from that point forward. So they decided to end things while they were still good so it never got to the point of complete boredom and loathing.
I do believe that relationships and bonds are made up of simple experiences of being together, so I'm still unsure of this reasoning. While boredom and routine happen to many couples, I would think that if the connection and deep rooted emotions were still prevalent, these wouldn't be an issue. I suppose what I'm really trying to say is that if someone is truly priceless to you, then you would work it out or at least attempt to. Ultimately, it's not about the things you do, achieve, or accumulate, it's about how you've done it together and all the small experiences in between. Just like life, relationships are about the journey, not the destination.
A part of me feels jaded. It's been a long time since I've really liked somebody and I'm not sure I remember how. Then again, I am and always will be a hopeless romantic.
I miss the feeling of excitement to hear my phone ring and see his name appear. I miss spending that extra fifteen minutes to get ready because I want to make sure I look good for him. Mostly, I miss giving unconditionally just because his happiness is mine.
Image courtesy of Le Love
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