my take on it

Last night, I went to a guy's place to make pizza (from scratch), open up a bottle of wine, watch a movie, and enjoy each other's company. Objectively speaking, it was a date and quite a romantic one at that. What I failed to mention was that the guy happens to be my intern at work and I see him more as a little kid brother than anything else. To top it off, I invited along one of the girls in the office to join us, so it definitely was not a date.

It comes as a surprise to me that something so fun, romantic, and somewhat intimate has now been delegated to a "friend activity." In today's world, a date could consist of something so small as getting a cup of coffee or having a drink at a bar. Doesn't picnicking at the park or baking homemade cupcakes sound like more inspiring and creative dates? They are definitely more interesting.

My friends and I picnicking at Golden Gate Park.

My friend and I about to scarf down a Red Velvet cupcake we baked.

What's the deal? I read articles in magazines and online about fun, imaginative date ideas. Why is it, though, that it still always comes back to the same "dinner and a movie" idea? And has it become so ingrained in our minds that the "traditional date" is the only one we can expect that we use gatherings with friends as a surrogate intimate outing?

My take on it is that it's the easy way out. It's difficult enough to take someone out on a date and spark a connection; is there a need to do more than "what is expected" with so much else to worry about? Plus, there is always the possibility that the person might not go for what you have planned. For example, a fashionista model clad in sky-high heels might not appreciate rollerblading down the boardwalk. But, hey, isn't that a good indication of whether or not it's a good match if a person isn't willing (or complains about) a fun, original date? But I digress. It's neither here nor there whether the person enjoys your well-planned date; it's about taking the time to organize such an excursion and the possibility of an increased potential for a favorable outcome. Will it optimize your chances of securing another date? Maybe, maybe not. So why bother at all when you can guarantee a good time with your friends on those same adventures?

I'm divided on this issue. For about a year, all of the dates I have been on have centered around coffee, dessert, a meal, and/or drinks, so I look to my friends for the more interesting undertakings. However, should a future date take the initiative to plan something different than the norm, I would be pleasantly surprised and, admittedly, excited. By no means does this signify higher expectations than socially accepted; perhaps it's more of a fantasy. While I await my prince charming to come sweep me off my feet with an atypical date, I will occupy myself with my own diversions. Not that I am suggesting that I will only be swept away by someone who takes me on a date that deviates from the norm. Oh, hell. I seem to be writing myself into a corner.

P.S. Thanks to Matt and Isabella for a fabulous and entertaining evening!