my take on it

Everybody keeps telling me that there are "more fish in the sea." I think most people don't understand my situation. It's not that I don't believe that I'll find love again; I know I WILL. I never had any doubts about my future happiness. I know that I'm going to get through this an be stronger than I was before. But people just need to understand that I'm in mourning right now. There's always going to be a mourning period, even if you know things will be better in the end. After all, I did lose something and somebody very special and dear to me. I think I have the right to feel the loss for awhile. That's not to say I'm not trying to get better. And if truth be told, I am a lot better than I was a couple of weeks ago. Each day is a new day and my heart grows stronger by the minute. No. I don't doubt that the future holds happiness for me.
I've been thinking a lot about soul mates and what it really means to be a soul mate. I always imagined to people to be half circles simply searching for their other halves. But then there's the idea that perhaps your soul mate is not necessarily "The One." After all, no one understands you better emotionally than your soul mate. But what if you just feel no attraction or chemistry in the way you would feel towards a significant other? Yet... you know there's this special bond between the two of you that binds you together forever. I'm beginning to think that there are two different types of soul intermingling (for lack of better terms). So there's one person that totally understands you and feels your emotions along with you. That is the person your soul intertwines with. Visually, I see two souls just twining together, kind of like DNA. But then there is "The One" who completes you and together, you make a complete circle. I'm not sure if this is just a load of bull shit my mind has conjured up to explain away things. Like, how am I to explain that I feel that I have found my soul mate, yet I was/am not with him and that I was completely devoted and in love with somebody else? I'm not sure. But I always visualized it this way...
I think we've sort of become the joke of the heavens. Here we are, given the greatest gift of finding our soul mate and even realizing it... yet, we are too stupid to do anything about it. We both acknowledge it to be the truth, yet we sit around pining for other people and hurting ourselves when we're right under each others' noses. If we were ever to tell other people that we think we're soul mates, they'd think we were nuts. I mean, we both know it to be true and agree on it, but we aren't together. I don't know. Maybe it's wrong timing. Or maybe we're just total retards. Anyway... I can hear the heavens laughing on us. We've become such a huge joke to them. "Let's put these two soul mates together, make them realize that they're soul mates, and see how long it takes for them to take the hint and actually get together!"
I never thought I'd be in this kind of situation. I was afraid that I wouoldn't recognize my soul mate when I met him, but I was never afraid that I would be too stupid to actually be with him once I found him. I'm thinking that his views are starting to rub off on me. I mean, I really never saw us as anything more than friends, but now I'm thinking maybe one day we'll both realize that we're idiots. I think we just need that extra nudge. Maybe when we lose each other (i.e. one of us moves away), we'll realize how much we need each other. Well, I already know that I need him, but not in that way. It's still kind of hard for me to see us together, but the more time our souls keep intermingling, the image kind of flashes. Maybe one day it will be a clear, defined picture.
As for now, I'm taking it one day at a time. I've been through a huge ordeal in losing somebody I reallly loved and truly believed to be "The One" person I was supposed to be with. Now that he's completely fallen off his pedestal, I must regain my own self worth and ability to love. A heart takes time to grow back. (Yep. I decided to throw the old one away since it's no use to me anymore). But I have no doubt that I'll be better than I was before.