my take on it

"I don't want you trying to get with me and I end up unhappy. I don't need the hurt and I don't need the pain. So before I do, give myself to you, I have to know the truth... If you had my love and I gave you all my trust, would you comfort me? And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue, would you lie to me and call me baby?"
I'm gonna make sure I know the answers to these questions before giving my heart out again. There's only so many times a girl's heart can break without breaking her spirit, also. So far, I've been careless in who I have entrusted my heart with. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I'm a huge retard. "It's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust."
I suppose I've been too idealistic. I always believed that love was enough to pull a couple through anything. I didn't think any problem was insurmountable for two people in love. "'How do you know when enough is enough?' 'In love, it's never enough.'" That's always made me give 110% into something I believed to be worthwhile. I would've tried anything to make things work because I truly believed that it was something worth fighting for. But I guess it's not enough if the other person doesn't also feel the same way.
I feel like I keep running into a brick wall. So I've reached a fork in the road. To my left, there's a clear path, although a little bit dark. I can see that there's a nice scene lying at the far end of the clear path. To my right, there's a brick wall. I'm not sure what's behind it, but something tells me it's wonderful, although I can't be completely sure. But I want what's behind that wall! Screw the clear path! So I proceed to smack into the wall... over and over and OVER AGAIN. But it's a brick wall. Deep down, I know I can't break it down without help. But I keep trying because I REALLY want what's behind that wall. As the wall becomes smeared in my own blood, I realize that it's not going to come down. I start to give up and walk away, but then a small crack appears and I think I'm making progress. Then the process starts all over again as I keep running myself into the wall.
I have to be some sort of masochist. It's like, "Please. Keep hurting me. I like it." Ugh. For all I know, the clear path might just lead me to the other side of the wall, even if it's the long way around. But no. I insist on breaking down this wall. It's just that I've put so much work into this and I'm not one to give up. But I think it's time that I do let go of it. I'm going to kill myself if I keep smacking into this wall.
I have to believe that everything will work out for the best. I have to believe that things will happen if they are meant to happen. Somewhere along the path of life, roads will cross again if they are meant to. I have to be content knowing that I gave everything I had and leave no regrets behind.