So CS didn't turn out well. =[ Oh well. There's nothing much I can do about it now. I was depressed all day. Desmond left for Hong Kong, too. It was not a happy day. Oh well. It's a new day. I'm driving my butt (along with Alex's) back down to LA. Back to Torrance I go. Yippee.

I have my CS final in 40 minutes. I CAN do this. I WILL NOT LET DAN GARCIA BEST ME! GRRR! *flexes with non-muscles* If I do well on this, then screw math.

I'm a reader for CS61A. One of my students thinks I'm hot! That's amusing. Haha. I'm amused.
heavenly TH: i'm grading your friend's project right now.
k*********: kooool
k*********: guess what
heavenly TH: what?
k*********: he thinks you're hot
k*********: hehehe
heavenly TH: what?
heavenly TH: you're kidding.
k*********: shh, don't say anything
k*********: but he was just like 'yeah dude, my reader is hot!'

"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love you want the other person." -Margaret Anderson
After watching a bad episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, I realize that all of my favorite sitcoms have been going downhill. Will and Grace, for example. This is most upsetting.

I have my EE final tomorrow and I just realized that I know NOTHING about transistors. Sigh. :'(

Study, study, study. I can't handle the pressure!

You wanna know what love is?
Do you trust me? When you look in my eyes, do you feel anything? When I say something, do you listen? When I mess up, do you forgive me? When I'm upset, do you comfort me? When you're upset, do you smile for me? When you're angry at me, does it fade away quickly? When I'm hurt, do you cry?
I trust you. When I look in your eyes, I know this is real. When you say something, I listen not with just my ears, but also with my heart. When you mess up, I'll always forgive you. When you're upset, all I do is try to cheer you up. When I'm upset, I smile for you and never take it out on you. When I'm angry at you, it fades away instantly when you simply smile. When you're hurt, I cry for your pain because I share it with you.

I'm so depressed. I have failed NOT one, but TWO of my midterms. So depressing. Damn you, EE AND MATH!!

Not feeling too good. My throat is feeling kind of iffy. It's not a good time to be getting sick. I think I should be taking echinacea. You know what it is? It's this damn Berkeley weather!

"Love takes time to heal when you're hurting so much. I cannot stand the pain inside 'cause love takes time... I don't wanna be here alone." -Mariah Carey
Endlessly.

Desmond and his friends played mahjong tonight (last night... whatever). I haven't played mahjongg in forever! Damn me and my lack of Chinese friends who know how to play... I should consider bringing up my set from home and TEACHING everyone to play.

I've looked at the framework for my cs project a million times over. Why do I still feel so lost??

I got my DVDs! Yay! Now I have all of Hayao Miyazaki's movies (minus Spirited Away)! Hurrah! That's so exciting. =] I was watching PomPoko, which is a story about tanukis. Remember Mario 3 on old school Nintendo? Whenever Mario wore a tanuki suit, he could turn into a statue. KAWAII! =]

I finally got Christine's package for me last night. She sent it like two weeks ago! Damn postal service... But yes. I had dim sum today for the first time in forever! MMMM... dim sum. Went to El Torito at Jack London Square with my dormmates to celebrate Jon's birthday last night. Got lost trying to get there, but eh. That pretty much encapsulates my weekend. Damn. I'm pathetic, aren't I?

I just saw The Ring last night. It was SO scary. I'm still freaked out and I can't stop thinking about it. SO SCARY.

Finally finished with midterms... Well... at least for another couple of weeks. Sigh. It's never ending. I guess I really shouldn't be complaining because it's a whole lot better than working. I can't believe I know people who are graduating this year. Geez. That's so scary. I'm thinking back to sophomore year of high school (4 years ago!) and how they were all seniors right about now. I remember how desperately I wanted to be a part of Robert's clique. That seems like such a long time ago... and all those people... they're graduating!! And NOT from high school... from COLLEGE. That's scary as hell.

Birthday gifts received:
Desmond: homemade dinner, DKNY watch, external CD burner, Gucci cell phone decoration, Beauty & The Beast DVD
Holly & Brian: Britney's Dance Beat for PS2, cow socks
Li: scarf
Karishma: F.R.I.E.N.D.S. trivia game

Thanks, you guys! I'm so old now! I got up this morning and was like, "Ohh... my back hurts!" =]

I hate it when professors give you their old midterms to give you an idea of what it might be like and then give something so much harder for the real thing. Grrrr. How upsetting.

You think you know... but you have NO IDEA.

Any time a guy ventures to prove me wrong, I am only proven correct. So much for that, huh?

Do you think it's better to have your own separate life to go to when you're not with your significant other? I think so. I mean, sometimes, don't you just want something that's solely for you? Or is that selfish? I was watching an episode of FRIENDS and Rachel was telling Ross about how her job is for her and that she likes to keep that to herself. So I'm thinking that it's a good idea. I mean, there are places you like to go (or at least I have certain places) that you like to think of as your own. I suppose it's good to have certain things to yourself. It's just something that you can always have and be dependent upon, I suppose. Not that you can't be dependent on your significant other... but I guess it just feels good to be able to know you can stand alone sometimes, even if you don't have to.

Something stung me on the back of my head today. I'm so not amused. It hurts like a bitch, too. So I went to the University Health Center (aka Tang Center) and waited an hour an half for them to look at it for two seconds and say, "Yep. You were stung. But the stinger is gone and it's not really swollen, so just take some Tylenol and you'll be fine." Grrr.. Freakin' bugs that sting!!

Now I know what it's like to be a grader. Geez. People COMPLAIN! Goodness. But oh well. What can ya do?
So I had to go to 8am math discussion today because I thought there was a quiz. Was there a quiz? NO! That's so upsetting. I woke my ass up to go to that class only to find out that the quiz was moved to Thursday. And you KNOW that means I have to wake my ass up at 8am AGAIN on Thursday to take it. I don't know HOW I ever did 0 period in high school at 7am. What the heck was I thinking??

Had some Pasta Pomodoro today. I'm really, REALLY craving dim sum. Mmmmm... dim sum. But anyway. Wasted most of my day just napping. I should've been doing homework or reading or anything at all. But no. I slept. =] Oh well. My weekends pretty much consist of catching up on sleep I've lost in the past week. And that's the way things go for me. =] Ooh. Got a new Robert Downey, Jr. wallpaper today. He's so cute. =] Okay. That's about it.

Finished my CS project tonight. C is a pain in the butt with the manual allocation of memory and whatnot. PAIN! But yeah. This project was a million times easier than the ones in 61B (which I took over the summer) and it took SO much less time to finish. Thank goodness. I can't handle another 61B. =]

Went through some of my old OD entries. Wow. I was pathetic. It's funny looking back to the way I used to be. It actually does make me feel better. A lot of times, I'll wonder if I'm still the same person I was four years ago. Actually looking back, I realize that I have INDEED changed (for the better). A little bit of it still hurts, though. Looking back at high school and the way things were always does bring back some pretty low points. I think I've grown/matured a lot since then. I'd like to think my actions support that claim.

"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great." -Comte DeBussy-Rabutin
I've been lazy all day. I guess I SHOULD be doing homework. Am I doing it yet? Damn. I really need to learn to FOCUS. I'm always lecturing to other people about getting their priorities straight. What the heck is wrong with me?
So anyway. I've got lots of homework to do as well as lots of reading. *SIGH*

Went shopping today... err... yesterday, I suppose since it's passed midnight. Well anyway. Went to Stanford mall for the first time. It was really nice. I'm so jealous. How come they get such a nice mall right next to campus? Berkeley gets crap! I guess that's what happens when the school is located in the ghetto. So I bought a shirt and a sweater from abercrombie (yes, that is correct as lower case since it's the kid's store). I also bought a shirt and a tank top from Banana Republic. Then I bought two pairs of jeans from Macy's. HURRAH! Shopping!! I haven't been shopping since FOREVER. It felt SO good to be in a mall again. =]

"In order to love, you must risk pain." -Travis Lutgen
It's amazingly hot today. You wouldn't believe it. I think I'm melting. Class was boring, too. Hot weather and boring classes as a combination is not a good thing. It makes Tammy go sleepy-bye!

"To let a fool kiss you is stupid. To let a kiss fool you is worse." -Anonymous
Saw this cool box set collection of Hayao Miyazaki movies (My Neighbor Totoro, Princess Mononoke, etc) on eBay. I, unfortunately, have not the money to pay for them. Woe is me. I guess I'll have to wait until I get some cash on hand.

"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got." -Murphy's Laws of Sex
Finished lots of homework today. I'm so proud of myself. =] I've still got a lot of reading to do, though. What a drag. That's the life of a student. I suppose it's better than actually working. How scary.

"For all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest of these: 'It might have been.'" -John Greenleaf Whittier
Went to Best Buy to buy Sleepless in Seattle since it was on sale for like $9. But no. They were out of stock. I was not amused.

It is simply not my day. They put me into a stupid math discussion at 8am. It doesn't even fit my schedule. I asked to be put in a specific one... do I get it? NO! And when I look at the enrollment, there are 3 available spaces in the section I DO want. GRRRRR. That means I get to go talk to the head TA AGAIN tomorrow. BLEGH. What a pain in the ass.

"It's not missing you that kills me ... It's knowing I once had you in my life that does." -Anonymous
I take a lot of things personally. You don't like me? Then there must be something wrong with me. I always had the tendency to try to make people like me. I thought I overcame that, but maybe not. I thought I had changed a lot, but maybe not. Am I still that same scared little girl in the corner?

Woohoo! I've gone wireless! Now all I need is the LCD monitor to match it. =] But that won't be for awhile since I have no dinero. No tengo dinero! (Wasn't there a song with that phrase? I keep hearing this melody in my head).

My schedule is packed. Somehow, I managed to watch all 200 episodes of Sailormoon. How did I ever manage?

I need to learn how to put a cap on emotions. I shouldn't let things get to me as they do. I blame it on high school. I blame everything on high school.

Reformatted my computer today. But no. My Task Manager STILL hates me. Grrrr. Dumb computer...

Going back to Berkeley tomorrow. I think I'm ready to go again. Every time I come back to Torrance, I feel as though nothing has changed -- I still feel like the spoiled, immature brat I was in high school. It bothers me. It's like I haven't changed at all when I know well enough that I've changed a million times over. I think maybe that's why I need to stay away from this town. Or at least not spend too much time here. Maybe it's because I tend to reminisce about high school times with my friends here because that's all they know of me. Not that they don't know about my life in college, but it's really hard to tell them about things since they haven't experienced the same things and haven't been hanging out with the same people. I think they all feel the same way because all of our conversations revolve around, "Remember when...?" And when I start to think about it again, I just get angry. High school was so superficial... but then so was I. I'd like to think I've changed, but coming back here makes me think twice. Am I just someone else when I'm here?

I can't believe it! By some UNKNOWN MIRACLE... I got an A in 61b! That just TOTALLY made my summer worthwhile.

You know there are issues to be dealt with when the mean on a final is 15/45. Gosh. That's so pathetic. 61b is the most depressing class EVER!

"The notion that there might be a better or more convenient time to love has cost many people a lifetime of regret." -Leo Buscaglia
I became really annoyed with everyone and everything earlier tonight (8/11). I think I was pissy because I didn't really want to be programming, I was hungry, my sister was being uncooperative, and I had no cash. I don't know. And then I saw Desmond and it all went away...

I'm SO ready to go back to Torrance and hit the beach. I can't wait until this class is over. School starts a week after that, but anything is better than all these nights at Soda.

Capture the flag... Trap Tammy in Soda. It's all the same. So tired. So sick of this.

Music generator, MY ASS. Freakin' CS homework. CS is going to be the death of me. My life? Soda Hall, of course! Come search for Tammy in the dungeons of Soda Hall! Now I know why they put the labs underground: they don't want people committing suicide while programming in the wee hours of the morning by jumping off a ledge. They gotta put you as close to the ground as possible.

Ouch. That hurts.

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right." -Woody Allen
So I'm tired. Exhausted. I want to fall back on my bed and just lie there doing nothing. But no. I have to write CAPTURE THE FLAG in Java. Isn't that just lovely? Can you sense the bitterness oozing out of me? Never again! Summer is for FUN IN THE SUN, not PROGRAMMING IN A DUNGEON.

"What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on despite everything it's doing to me?" -Sarah Mclachlan
So my midterm is today. Hooray. I'm not nearly close to being adequately preprared, yet I'm taking the time to write in my blog. Hmmm. I really need to get my priorities straightened out.

"The knowledge that can destroy a person is knowing that the one you love cannot love you back." -Anonymous
So I've been moody of late. I think it's because I'm on my rag and whatnot. Not that this has ever happened to me before. I woke up from my nap and my place looked so empty and I just got really upset. Then I looked at some pictures of friends back home and I got really sad. I shouldn't even be thinking abuot high school because it's always made me really upset and angry. So yeah. I know I've been kind of *strange* and snappy, so I'm sorry.
It's because I'm a girl. (Isn't that the BEST excuse?)

Even though this class is killing my life outside of it, I must say that I'm glad I'm taking it now.
I find that I was really quite isolated last year. I guess living at Foothill can do that to a person. You kind of just form your group around the suite you live in. You don't really get the social atmosphere of the regular dorms. But whatever. So yeah. I didn't really get to know anyone else outside of my dorm. Well, besides Desmond and his friends. Like I never really talked to anyone in my classes. If ever had to work someone, I'd either pick someone random and forget his/her name after the class ended or I'd pick someone who I had some relation with (e.g. Charlie --> Ken's roommate --> Jon's high school friend --> my suitemate). But being in this class has really taught me to talk to everyone and I've met so many people (even if it is in the dungeons of Soda Hall).
This does not make me hate the work load any less because I still hate it. I'm stressed out all the time and this class makes me feel incredibly stupid. I've never had the feeling like I couldn't do something before. This class makes me feel it. But I'm not alone in it.

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse
Spent the day in Soda. What a bummer. But I guess that's the life of a CS major. I think CS has made me dull. It used to be all about learning and expanding my horizons. These days, I dread going to class, spending my days and nights in lab, afraid that I won't finish homework. It's really made me despise school.

Who needs meaningful variable names when you have shmeh1 and shmeh2? Let's not forget o, oi, and oii. Heh. =]

"I know something about love -- you gotta want it bad. If that guy's gotten into your blood, go out and get him. If you want him to make your heart sing out.. if you want him to only think of you... here's the thing to do: Tell him that you're never gonna leave him. Tell him that you're always gonna love him. Tell him; tell him right now."
This is where Ally would run after Billy, Larry, Victor, or whoever. Her theme song is so great.

Finally finished with project 1 in my cs class. I was ready to die. Stupid spreadsheet.
But yeah. I've been pretty busy as of late. It's quite depressing. I don't have time to do anything else except program. This is what happens when I take such a hard class in summer school. Eh. Not much I can do about it now. Everyone else is dropping (or has already dropped) and I'm kind of upset because there's not going to be too many people for me to partner with on homework, projects, and whatnot. I'm not about to drop the class since I don't believe in quitting... so yeah.
I'm not too amused with the weather lately. Is it hot or is it cold? C'mon! I have class in the morning AND in the afternoon. I don't want to have to change clothes because it gets hot later. And then it gets all cold and I have to change back.
I know I'm being whiny... but it's my BLOG. So there.

So much for "DAILY DOSAGE." It's been awhile. It's been a strange week. I think everyone will start to feel better once it's over. I'm ready for a vacation.

Hurrah, hurrah! I'm going back to Berkeley tomorrow. Gonna go back to my apartment... gonna see my boyfriend... hurrah, hurrah! =] Went to UCSD with Kazu and Christine today. Kazu lived in a jail cell! His dorm looked like a jail! I guess I just imagined every dorm to look like mine and didn't realize they were so different. He had so much stuff! It was like a hurricane went through the room!

I got my hair cut today. I don't like it too much. I thought it would turn out better, but it didn't. Oh well. That was the extent of my day. I really need to get out of Torrance. All I do is sleep and eat. Oh. And let's not forget being yelled at by my parents every other second. I'd rather be studying.

I'm still bored. But Christine's coming back on Friday/Saturday! HURRAH! And then Stacey's getting here on Sunday/Monday! HURRAH! SO EXCITED!

So I'm back in Torrance. It's so boring. No one's out of school yet, so I'm just lazing the days away. I desperately miss Desmond since he's been gone in Hong Kong. There's really nothing to do.

I can't believe everyone is packing up to leave. It seems like just yesterday that we moved in. It's so incredibly sad to see the bare walls and empty rooms. I can't handle it. I look around this room and so much comes to me. A lot has happened in this past school year. I know it's just a room, a space enclosed by four walls, but it means so much more. This is where I spent the nights talking to my suitemates, getting to know them and getting to know myself. This is where we spent our time just hanging out, watching movies on our computers, watching TV, and just being college students. This is where I had "the talk" (the one that lasts all night and you get to know the person and connect with their souls) with Desmond. This is where Desmond and I got together... watching a movie on my computer, simply being college students. These four walls have witnessed a lot and it has so much to see for years to come. I'm almost jealous.

OH GOOD GOD! I have my CS final in 40 minutes and I still know NOTHING. I'm going to fail this final like I've never failed before! AACK!!! BREATHE...

I was watching J.Lo On Oprah today and she was talking about how she doesn't think people know when they meet THE ONE and that the relationship is IT. She claims to just live in the moment and do as she feels in the moment. Hmmm... don't think that relationship is going to last.

SIX MONTHS! =] It's been good because I've spent it with you.

So many things to do in the next two weeks! School is almost out!! YIKES!

It'll be six months next Tuesday. SIX MONTHS! It feels so much longer. It's amazing how I've come to love someone so deeply in such a short amount of time. It's especially amazing because he feels the same. Wow. I've waited and waited for this day to come and now that it's finally here, I know that it has been worth the wait. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I know you'll be there with me to find out.

Slowly starting to furnish.

"He must really like you. It's been six months and it's like this? You've got something AMAZING." I know. Believe me. I know.

There's so much going on in my life. I don't know how I continue to stand. I feel like such a whiner, but at the same time, I feel like I'm entitled to feel the way I do because it's what I know. This is how I've lived my life and this is what I know. I can't help the way I am. Sigh. I don't want to deal anymore.

There's so much going on in my life. I don't know how I continue to stand. I feel like such a whiner, but at the same time, I feel like I'm entitled to feel the way I do because it's what I know. This is how I've lived my life and this is what I know. I can't help the way I am. Sigh. I don't want to deal anymore.

We were so close to getting the apartment. To have it right there and then to have it snatched away... I'm feeling so bleh.

We saw a BEAUTIFUL apartment today. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment. It was SO nice and we really want it. I'm going to be so disappointed if we don't get it. So yeah. I'm really, REALLY hoping we get it.

Tammy's DONE with midterms! Perfect timing, too. Looks like I'm getting sick again. SIGH. We all know what happens when I get sick. It means I'm going to be sick for the next two months. What's WRONG with my immune system??

I've really come to terms with everything that's going on. There's really nothing I can do about it. The best thing I CAN do is to learn to be civil because one day, she WILL be the one to open the door and I'll have to be able to deal with it. I just know that I can't go on feeling this way forever. It'll drive me insane! I'm really going to try because I think it's worth it, but if I can't help but feel the way I feel... Well... I can't go on feeling this way forever.

I want everything to be okay. Take deep breaths. It's not always about how things must turn out perfectly because nothing ever does. It's such a bad expression to live by... but... hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Strange how songs can bring about so many emotions you didn't know were there.

It's so hot up here! It feels like home! I want to hit the beach! =] I'm prancing around in my summer clothes! Hurrah! (I SHOULD be studying for midterms... sigh)

Deaths left and right. What's Berkeley doing to people? So someone jumped off the math building yesterday (it's like ten stories tall and the ugliest building on campus). A couple of weeks before, someone suffocated himself in that very same building. This isn't a good sign, is it?

Ever get depressed for no apparent reason? Cry just for the sake of crying? I think too much. Emotionally distraught. Cycle is off. Stress. Too much. Not enough. Mind blowing.

Uncool. Unfair. But am I angry? No. Upset? Yes. And quite vulnerable. Damn.

Back home to Torrance. I guess it's all right. I saw Christine and Kazu tonight. It was good, clean fun! Hehe. Also ran into Lisa Sakamoto. Interesting, eh?

So I lost my student ID today. I'm not too amused. Oh well. What can ya do? SIGH. I'm so irresponsible!
Quote of the Day: "Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?" -Cinderella

Heavens above -- you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deeply sensual nature and sexual confidence drive men crazy with desire. Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move.
Hehe. I'm a SEX GODDESS =] Are you a Sex Goddess or God?

The ASUC Ball was a load of fun! I looked so nice with my hair, makeup, and gorgeous dress. Amazing what a few accessories can do. But yeah. And Desmond was so sexy in his suit. Mmmm.... =] We had a lot of fun just being with each other. =]

MUAHAHA! CAL IS THE SHIT! WE BEAT PENN! HURRAH! NOW IT'S ON TO PITTSBURGH. GET READY BECAUSE THE BEARS ARE COMING! =]
Quote of the Day: "Cal is a STRONG team and they have such NICE BODIES, too! Joe Shipp and Brian Wethers have such nice builds and strong shoulders!" -Commentator for the Cal vs. Penn game in 2002 NCAA Tournament

So I'm finally done with midterms... even though I FAILED my last CS midterm. Eh. What can ya do? So I'll be spending the rest of the week plus next week relaxing. I'll be working on my CS project, too. Hurrah. An adventure game. SO FUN! Can you TELL I'm excited? *SIGH*
Quote of the Day: "You can feel that he wants to own you-not like an object but like a good dream he wants to keep having. He lets you know that you already own him." -Melissa Baker, The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing

The best part of waking up is being in your arms.
You DO make every day the happiest day of my life.
I thank the heavens every day for sending you to me.
I am the luckiest girl alive to have you in my life.
You are the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up.
It's like a ray of sunlight whenever you look in my eyes.
The moment our hands touched: I knew it.
Every time you tell me you love me, it's magic.

So Brian and I went apartment hunting today. Heh. It was an interesting experience, I must say. Since we didn't subscribe to the listing place online, we didn't have the actual address or telephone number of the place we were looking at. They were offering a 3 bed, 1 bath. We knew it was on Euclid, so we decided to just walk on the street and look for it since we had a picture. When we found it, it looked all ghetto-like and I wasn't too amused. A lady resident walked out and we asked her about it. She didn't know much but she did say: "I'd avoid this place if I were you. It's owned by one of the biggest slum-lords in Berkeley. I'm dealing with mold and a broken refrigerator. The landlord is physically harassing me and I'm intimidated by him. I'm thinking about getting a restraining order on him." Brian and I got all freaked out and left. Hmm.. Interesting, eh?
Quote of the Day: "The heart has reasons that reason does not understand." -Jacques Benigne Bossuel

The power went out at Berkeley yesterday around 5:00pm. The whole school! That's a lot of power! So yeah. I had a midterm today and I was flipping out because there was no electricity and no light to study with. Eating in the dark was interesting. But yes. Desmond and I went to his friend, Vi's, apartment. We watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S and the Cal vs UCLA game (Pac-10 Tournament). WE WON! TAKE THAT, UCLA! And I studied. Kind of. The midterm was really easy, so it's okay. It was kind of long, though, and I didn't really get a chance to finish. Eh. What can ya do? It's only worth 15% of the grade anyway.
Quote of the Day: "[Perhaps] the greatest love is never returned." -Unknown

So I went to office hours for the first time EVER. It was terrible and very unhelpful. No wonder I avoided it. There were a gajillion and one people in that tiny little room. And the professor didn't help much, either. So I guess I'll go to my TA's office hours. I really need to get a grip on what I'm going. Damn you, midterms, DAMN YOU!
Quote of the Day: "You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love." -Henry Drummond

It's raining. I have a headache. It's NOT pretty. Oh no! I can't get sick! Must...take...echinacea... Can't...breathe...gonna...die!
Quote of the Day: "Someday when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold... I will feel aglow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight." -Tony Bennett, The Way You Look Tonight

Desmond and I went to help little kids in Oakland learn how to use computers. It was such a far walk from the BART station! But that's okay. I had fun. We ended up spending half the time playing Carmen Sandiego. I really miss that game. =] Ah. Childhood memories. WING COMMANDER! Hahaha. I remember how my cousin used to play that game all the time. I always sat there and watched him play. All the new kiddie games these days are so much more high tech. I guess that's what happens through the years. But yeah. You still can't beat the classics. DAY OF THE TENTACLE!
Quote of the Day: "Love is like quicksilver: as soon as you tighten your hand around it, it'll slip through your fingers; leave it in an open palm and it will stay." -Unknown

I bought my ASUC ball bids today. That's so exciting! I love formals! It's all about getting dressed up for that one special guy (as well as getting UNdressed... hehehe). Tammy's DIRTY! She's learning TOO MUCH from Holly! Heh. =]
Quote of the Day: "Where there is great love, there are always wishes." -Willa Cather

desmond says hi = )
hi everybody! hm.. tammy told me to write something here, so i decided to say hi to all her freinds. but yeah, i didnt get the chance to see her friends over winter, other then annie, so hope to see you guys next time i come down to torrance! hm. so i need to write a quote of the day hmm.. let me see... okay. this quote relates to what i think about my cs class last semester (this quote was actually on the exam...)
Quote of the day: "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger"-Nietzsche:
/*tammy if you ever read you own daily dosage of tammy, i just want to tell you that i love you, and i would try to make every day of your life the happiest day of your life....*/

I came across this survey and thought it'd be fun to fill out:
"THE BOYFRIEND SURVEY"
His name:
Desmond Cheung =]
His age:
19
How many years between you:
He's almost a year older, but not quite.
How long have you been together:
3 months, 14 days, and 8 hours. But who's keeping track?
Eye color:
Brown
Hair color:
Dark brown
Hair style:
ASIAN STYLE! =] (Bot NOT FOB-ish)
Normal outfit:
GQ. =] Lookin' sexy!
How did you meet?
He was my lab assistant for my computer science class. SCANDALOUS!
How serious is it?
I want to spend every moment with him. It took me 18 years to find him and there's no way in hell I'm about to let him get away!
Do you love him?
With every ounce of my being.
Does he love you?
Of course. =]
Do your parents like him?
I think so.... not that it matters.
Do your pets?
My dog, Pommie, adores him... even though he called her a cat.
Enough to drive your car?
Sure. Why not?
Would you share a toothbrush with him?
I have before.
Does he let you wear his pants?
I've never asked... except for his warm ups. I'm not too sure I'd like to wear his pants out.
Do you have a shirt of his to sleep in that smells like him?
I don't sleep in it (he does when he's over), but I have one. I remember him lending me his jacket once and I wouldn't take it off and I kept smelling it because it smelled like him. My hallmates thought I was nuts!
Do you like the way he smells?
Mmmmm.... Desmond. =] (see answer above)
Can you picture having kids with him?
We'll get married and have babies! =] Not that I want kids. Little brats like me running around? I DON'T THINK SO.
Does he want kids with you?
I don't think this topic has ever come up.
What do you like the most about him?
He's the sweetest guy I've ever known. He has the BIGGEST heart and is sincerely nice. And he has the cutest smile with his dimples. =]
What bothers you the most about him?
He has the BIGGEST heart is sincerely nice. Yes, I love that about him, but it's also a drag. People take advantage of those who are too nice... and he can't say "no."
Does he have a temper?
Not really. Well, he's never really been THAT upset with me. Maybe just for a little bit... at the most about half an hour.
What did you give him for the last gift giving occasion?
A memory jar. I made stars out of straw and put them in a jar along with drawings (and dates!) of all of our important memories. I also made him chocolate-covered strawberries.
What is the best present he has ever given you?
His love.
What is the best present you have ever given him?
My heart.
Do you have a nickname for him?
Cutie. =]
Does he embarass you in public?
Not really. We're both kind of silly. But it's much more fun that way!
Are you happy to be with him?
Always.
Do you think you could do better?
How do you do better than the BEST?

FANTASTIC DAY! Tammy got a *PERFECT* score on her math midterm! HURRAH! The weather is BEAUTIFUL! it's such a PERFECT day. Praying... PRAYING that it won't be ruined. =]
Quote of the Day: "When I opened up my eyes today, I had the sun shining on my face. It became so clear to me that everything is going my way." -Jennifer Lopez, Feelin' So Good

I had my math midterm at 8am today. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was having a mental breakdown last night. I've never felt so stupid in a class before. Whenever the professor lectures or my TA teaches, I seem to blank out and I realize just how little I know. Math is not supposed to be this difficult! I feel like such a moron in the class. I felt all sick-like last night because I was dreading this midterm. I even called Robert because I was spazzing. Hopefully I did all right.
Quote of the Day: "The Question is not whether we will die, but how we will live." -Anonymous

I had so much to do this weekend. CS homework, CS project, math midterm to study for, paper to write... TOO MUCH! Since I haven't gotten much studying done, I guess I have to do it all tonight. SIGH. I can't wait for this weekend. I'll be free of this insanity!
Quote of the Day: "If I know what love is-- it is because of you." -Herman Hesse

I was weak. I went shopping. *sigh* But...but...but! Shopping makes me happy! It's when I have no money to spend that I'm sad. Heh. But really. Someone stop me from buying stuff! My closet is getting too full. Soon enough, I won't be able to stuff any more of the new stuff I buy into it. *sigh*
Quote of the Day: "If you have [love], you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you do have." -Sir James M. Barrie

I drew a bunch of pictures on this random whiteboard in Soda (computer science building). It really reminded me of how Christine and I would draw all over Ms. Kim's board during lunch and how we'd always play pictionary. So I drew pictures of graduating bears, suitcases/toasters, me slipping on towels, etc, etc. I think Desmond and his friends thought I was nuts, but I didn't care. I really miss Christine.
Quote of the Day: "What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's going to be a long day. I have nearly five straight hours of computer science. That's too much~! Midterms really suck, huh? I'm not out until 9pm! OH NO!
Quote of the Day: "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." -Confucius

It's raining today. I typically don't like rain, but it's different today. As I walked with Desmond (he was going to class and I was going back to my dorm), he asked me if I liked the rain. Strangely, I couldn't decide. After leaving him at Evans (the hideous math building), I thought about it. I'm looking at the rain differently now. It's like it's washing away everything so that I can start fresh, anew. Maybe.
Quote of the Day: "The notion that there might be a better or more convenient time to love has cost many people a lifetime of regret." -Leo Buscaglia

Thanks, Kazu. This is so cool! :) It's like my own open diary on my profile. Kind of. But still look for details in my open diary for those of you who know the url. :)
Quote of the Day: "What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the only thing that there's just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone." -The Carpenters, What The World Needs Now is Love