As a female living in society as we know it, I, like the many other women I know, am obsessed with what is considered to be beautiful, desirable, sexy. We all want to have long, lean legs, a firm but round butt, a flat stomach, decently-sized, perky breasts, and most recently in fashion, toned arms. Some of us just aren't born with the privilege of such genes, so we work hard to fit the mold. My question is, when does this become an unhealthy obsession? And does it really affect how others view us?
My take on it is the more we are aware of the bodies around us, the more that we are aware of ourselves (or what we lack). I am definitely my own harshest critic, my own worst enemy, if you will. I am constantly examining myself in the mirror: "Is that a new stretch mark? Is this shirt showing too many of my 'rolls'? Is the cellulite getting worse?!" What I also notice, though, is that I am also extremely critical of other women, especially if they are in the spotlight. "Did Drew Barrymore gain weight again? Did you see those pants on Jessica Simpson? Britney needs to work on that tummy area if she expects a comeback anytime soon."
Worse yet (and I hate to admit this), I judge the very average, normal women around me. While I did happen to join the trendiest gym in town where almost all of the women who work out there could be Victoria's Secret or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models, there are still a few "normal" women who frequent the gym. While changing in the locker room, I can't help but to look around and compare. I search out the women that are in worse shape than me or just were not as "blessed" as I am and I feel better about myself. I'm completely evil and out of line, I know. But I couldn't help but look at some women and think, "Well, at least I don't have saggy breasts or loose skin or a flat butt or..." I'm ashamed of myself.
More importantly than what I think, here's the real question:
The obvious answer is, "Abso-fucking-lutely!" Why else would men drool over the Victoria's Secret and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models? There's nothing sexier than a woman with a bangin' body, right, boys?
According to one guy I know, "Yes and no." The conversation went as follows:
"It's always the face that does it for me. Whenever I went to strip clubs, the dancers would always be shocked that I'd be staring at their face. It's what makes a woman interesting. Women just don't get it. Someone that is is considered to be 'in the best shape' and someone with your body, there's no difference. Here, look at this."
He pulls out an empty case of gum (Dentyne, I think, but I can't recall). I can't really demonstrate to you what he did with the gum, but I will attempt to show you essentially what he did through images.
"Imagine that this is a Victoria's Secret or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model's body."
"Now say that this is you now."
"And say this is someone else who is in 'okay shape'."
"There's no difference between the three! If you're any of the latter 2, you're essentially the first."
[Gesturing to his glass of Jack and Coke] "It's not like you're like this glass."
"And I think it's kind of wrong for you to be complaining about it when you're clearly not overweight or in bad shape. I mean, there are people in bad shape and you are not. It's like the guy who had to give up his boat because he couldn't afford it anymore saying that he's broke to a guy who is actually broke. 'No, you're not broke, asshole. You just had to give up your boat!'"
At this point, I'm trying to figure out whether this is a general agreement among men or if it just happened to be something this particular man believed. Had I spent my life agonizing over every little pound for no reason at all? Is there really 'no difference'??
My take on it is that at the end of the day, no matter what others might think (of the same or opposite sex), as long as I still obsess in front of the mirror on different imperfections in my body that I know I can fix, I will constantly be worrying about it. The fact is, as long as I know that I can look better, than I will strive to look better.
On an ending note, an image of my favorite Victoria's Secret model, Alessandra Ambrosio, in the bathing suit I just purchased. I hope to one day have her stomach and thighs.
very intriguing post. i don't understand the guy's demonstration though.
ReplyDeletei think confidence has a huge part in women's image of themselves. working on her own body is a source of a lot of confidence too. you have to judge other ppl to make yourself feel better, that's probably how most ppl motivate themselves anyway. hm well, chat more later...good post.