my take on it

"Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy." - Robert Anthony

I saw this quote written on a board while waiting for my nonfat White Chocolate Dream Latte from Coffee Bean. (It's heaven in a cup). It struck a chord with me immediately and I am 100% certain that it is true. My immediate thought was, "I must Twitter this and share it with the rest of the world! What an epiphany!"

What I've come to realize in the past two years of my life is that there is no reason why I can't attain my dreams. Growing up the "Asian way" meant that I put aside all of my "foolish, childish" dreams and pursued a reliable, steady, responsible lifestyle. What this translates to is going to a good college, receiving a practical degree, working a job that can provide for comfortable yet lavish spending habits, and marrying a Chinese man that makes more money than I do and can support me.

My second year in college, I chucked 25% of those expectations by dating someone *gasp* Black. I was a disappointment, an embarrassment to my parents. "What will I tell my friends," my mother would tearfully cry to me. Sorry, mom; this is nothing against you, I didn't do this to hurt you, and it's not a reflection of how I was raised. The following four years, I struggled with a need to please my parents and my own need to live my life. In truth, it made me miserable.

While there were many good times in those four years, I know, looking back, that the relationship lasted much longer than it should have. We were both unhappy. But I was stubborn... and afraid. What if this was as good as it got? What if I never found anyone else? What if I ended up alone? I was certain of one thing: I was unhappy, but it felt comfortable. I was unwilling to risk discomfort for happiness. It sounds silly now.

Two years ago, after having worked "the job that can provide for comfortable yet lavish spending habits" for two years, I came to a realization: I dreaded getting up in the morning to drag myself to work. Very clearly, I remember one morning standing at the door to get into the office. We had to use our badge on the card reader to unlock the door. As I raised my badge to unlock the door, I let out a loud sigh thinking, "Here we go again." At that very moment I knew for certain that I was miserable. I kept at it for another year. Why? I was certain that I was miserable, but again, I was afraid. What else could I do? I had no education or background in anything but technology. Where could I go? What if I didn't make enough money? What if I couldn't find another job? I didn't have the courage to leave comfort and stability for the land of what ifs. It sounds ridiculous now.

Settling on stable and comfortable despite being miserable is easier to swallow than risking it all to be happy. It's the fear of being wrong. It's the fear of the unknown. It's the fear of never making it. Standing still is truth, fact, a certainty.

It takes a tremendous amount of fortitude and resolution to be able to pursue real happiness. It requires a constant level of discomfort until reaching the desired goal. Is it worth it? In my opinion, absolutely.

Shortly after posting the quote on Twitter, I got a response back: "Are you talking about me?!"

It certainly was not directed at any one person in particular, but I want you to know that I have an immeasurable amount of respect for you and the passion that you display consistently. If anything, you risk it all. You are the reason I left certain misery for a chance at happiness.